The French Reverie

Sometimes, I am incredibly embarrassed about my dreams. They seem fairytale-esque when said out loud - “I want to live in a Chateau in France with my family”. But it is true. It is a dream that I can visualize. I can see the steps in front that need to be taken; I can see the daily living; I can see the doubt, the loneliness, the agony of being away from the life we have always known. And yet, I can’t shake this dream. Perhaps it is because I have always loved history. Perhaps because I am a romantic. Perhaps because this is the one area of my life where I am choosing to be completely impractical. I have periods of pure adulation for this dream - I will spend hours looking at chateaux, reading blogs, watching vlogs, learning about mortgages, schools, regions, and so on - and then will flip and be utterly devastated just thinking about this dream not coming to fruition; or even worse, feeling immense shame for even thinking it is possible. We won’t even get started on the guilt of spend...

Bonjour & Hi, This blog/idea has been in the making for a while; but give me two+ glasses of red wine, a computer, a late night, and poof - here we are. There are many trails that led to this blog. But first and foremost is the inevitability of living in a chateau in France with my family. It will happen. The timing is fluctuating and fickle. Since I have known for years that a chateau life will eventually be mine, it can be easy to get lost in the agony of not living that life currently. I have fallen into that despair many times, but don't generally want to spend my days moping around. In 2023 during an Office of Accountability Meeting (which I'm sure I'll talk about many times here), I pulled out my not-used-enough Fleurot Floral Tarot Deck and drew my annual card to set my course for the new year. I pulled the Violet aka The Hermit. I gasped - and not in a good way. It was a sickening feeling. A year of solitude, introspection, meditation, soul-searching, and inner...